Sometimes you don't know until you see. . . .

Does life hand you some whopper of a lemon? To me I have been involved in some emotionally charged situations, say the cable company over charging you on your bill; which made your bank account go into a negative sign. Yikes, I thought I was going to have a coronary! Maybe it was finding out that the guy that I was engaged to was cheating, 2 days after he asked me to marry him !!! Sometimes it takes us a moment to step back from an intense situation and just take a breath of air. Once we distance ourselves, maybe think of where is this controversy coming from? How did you or didn't you impact the situation. By taking a distant or objective look at a situation, sometimes you can see things differently. I tell the young woman I take care of, you have to pick your battles. You can't just go head strong into every situation charged with panic and full of emotions. Calm down first, distance yourself from the situation, chew on your emotions and when you have a handle on the emotions; then talk about the situation with that person. Quiet contemplation can help.
Now, choose your words carefully. Maybe rehearse some questions, you can state your view truthfully, but not aggressive. That's why you rehearse your questions, so you can change words to not sound like you are in a "charge" mode.
Then, after you ask your question, you must listen. By trying to really listen you might hear a message. You could learn a life's lesson about yourself. It is not always easy, but by looking for the truth, you will find it. You can be rest assured, you will be a better person. We are not animals, we can reason about a situation whether it is work, family, or community related. Talk to someone about the situation and maybe you will see a different side of the matter. By talking about the situation, it might help you to see and deal with the situation. Believe me I had to sit down after dating one nut after another and really look at myself. Yes, they were idiots, but who was dating them? Me !! I just had to tell myself that this wasn't working and I would wait until I had peace in my life before getting entangled into a long term relationship. That really helped me see that I was a good person, I could choose to see the flip side of a bad situation. I now am much happier and know how to stop when I become emotionally charged and just take one step at a time. I hope that this helps some people. I know it helped me.